Thursday, October 7, 2010

Following directions

Last night at church our pastor shared with us that it is a season to fast and pray.  He shared that he was told to fast from football for the next 40 days.  He invited us to join him and to pray for what God wants us to abstain from during this time.  Always up for a challenge, I jumped at the opportunity.  Then I stutter stepped and then whined and stomped my feet and threw a fit!  Does this mean I'm not going to be obedient?  I'm not going to lie, it's going to be tough.

I very clearly heard God's instruction but since it wasn't what I wanted to hear, I rationalized that God couldn't have said that.  He loves me too much to take that away from me.  Again the voice persisted.  "Let go of it." it whispered in my ear.  "But God, that doesn't make sense to me."  I argued.  "Trust." the voice said.  "But..." I am very good at arguing and debating but with God, it's a tad different.  I relent faster most of the time.  Knowing He's already got all the answers and knows the end result, it seems silly to persist. 

Now the hard part...telling my husband (who is going to rejoice) what I heard God say.  Dang it.  Wishing this could stay between God and me but who would hold me accountable and check in with me if that happened.  Somehow it's easier to do what I'm told if other people know and hold me accountable.  Drats!!! 

"So, did God tell you something specific to give up for now?"  I asked.  He told me what he'd heard from God.  (I'm now very jealous...he got an easy one!)  "What about you?" he asked.  "Shopping." I muttered.  His and Jake's jaws almost hit the floor.  "You know this means that when I find those fabulous deals, you will have to go get them, right?"  I state.  They both laughed.  "I don't think that's what God meant." Chris said as gently and encouragingly as he could thru his fits of laughter.  Panic starts rising as I picture our grocery budget start going up.  "You'll need to follow my deal scenarios and use coupons when you grocery shop, you know.  I can't imagine God would want us to spend more and get less." I tell him.  "I don't see that happening."  Ugh! 

Praises in this...I had just ordered a Christmas gift for Jake that morning and had ordered my make up that afternoon. 

Bummer...I found a deal scenario that I could get a couple Christmas gifts for free this week but hadn't gotten out to do it.  I guess I will have to pass on that. 

Later, I am doing some stuff online and Jake says, "Mom, isn't that considered shopping and therefore you're cheating?"  Hmm....if I'm making money but not spending it, even if I am thinking about how I will spend it once I can, does that count? 

Well, now you're in the loop on where God's taking me.  Pray for me...and my family.  I will keep you updated what God does during this time and my successes and failures.  My heart is to follow His direction and go where He leads.  I know it was His voice I heard based on the struggle in my heart.  I still have a couple questions for him such as does it include grocery shopping?  What about my grocery budget?  Is it still shopping if I don't spend money?

What are your thoughts?

1 comment:

  1. Wow Joyce, that's tricky! Good luck... do you feel that by fasting from "Shopping," God is asking you to give up superfluous shopping or all shopping?